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arealcrow · 2 days ago

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an hour found

2.8k words, dragon age: the veilguard, rookanis

Rhava and Lucanis share the last slice of torte, and something more. or : Rookanis first kiss set after the romance lock in.

Rhava thinks that the spaces Veilguard have made their own across the Lighthouse reflect them well. Aside from his own room, anyway. It's hard for him to get comfortable in there. Which is why, he supposes, he finds the dining hall so welcoming on a sleepless 'night'. The lit fire casts the room in a warm light that permeates the timeless Fade to give the permanent impression of evening. The smell of coffee only adds to that, calling to Rhava to have a cup and a treat for dessert.

The smell of coffee- still fresh- means that….

"I should have guessed you'd still be up," Rhava smiles as he pokes his head just past the pantry door, sounding more pleased than reproachful.

He probably should have knocked, but Lucanis doesn't seem surprised at his appearance. The man is one of the most renowned assassins in the Crows, so Rhava suspects his approach was heard. Or perhaps Spite had sensed him coming.

By way of a greeting, Lucanis tilts his head at Rhava. He is leaned against a wall, cradling an ornate, purple cup in his hands. The first flickers of a smile crease at the edges of his eyes, softening his severe features. Rhava can feel a tingle in his palms at the sight. Just a hint of fondness from Lucanis and he's buzzing with electricity, ready to strike like a storm cloud. He'd feel pathetic if he had feeling left to spare past his yearning.

"Yes, you probably should have," Lucanis says- and there's the smile that Rhava had been hoping for. There for a brilliant flash and then gone as Lucanis' eyebrows furrow. Rhava doesn't try to hide the way his eyes flick from his mouth back up to those concerned brown eyes.

"Why are you still up, Rook? Is something wrong?"

Rhava hums and looks around the pantry, stalling as he searches for an answer he does not want to give. His gaze lingers over the slightly worrying collection of cups Lucanis has amassed. He counts… seven? And the one Lucanis was holding made eight. Eight marks the final kill, his brain not-so-helpfully supplies. That's not what Lucanis had asked him about.

"Nothing wrong. I mean, other than," he shrugs a shoulder, "you know… everything that's happening. My gods rampaging and the blight and invasion and cults and… when I sleep it's either wolf packs stalking me through All-Father sent nightmares, or it's the Dread Wolf himself feeding me lies."

His gaze is fixed on the stone floor now. He can't bring himself to meet the unbearable softness that he knows will be waiting for him if he looks up at Lucanis. It's a comfort that feels unearned, but one desperately yearned for. He hadn't spoken to any of the Veilguard of the how the howling in his dreams had driven him to sleepless nights. He was supposed to support them through their trials, he couldn't show them that he was faltering in his own. What kind of leader would he be?

Yet here he was, driven by that small rebellious part of him that told him if anyone would understand voices in his head, it was Lucanis.

"Ah, I see. No rest even when you sleep," Lucanis says.

It's a simple thing, but Rhava is surprised at how much he does feel seen. When he looks up, gentle brown eyes meet his, filled with a depth of understanding that brings him comfort.

"You know," Lucanis suggests, "Viago might have something that can induce a dreamless slumber."

"Oh, yes, he does," a sly smile spreads across Rhava's lips, "I try not to get too dependent on Nightcap, though. I think I've already started developing a resistance."

Lucanis matches his expression with a small, wry smile of his own, "Nightcap, of course. Who am I to recommend poisons to a de Riva?"

Rhava winks at him, and can't help the way his grin widens as he launches into the worst segue he can think of, "So, now that we've established my familiarity and potential resistance to poisons… would you want to share dessert? There's just one slice left of the torte you made."

Lucanis huffs out a laugh, taking Rhava's words for the joke they are.

"I saved it for you."

He's too sweet, Rhava hardly knows what to do with him. Actually, Rhava had plenty of ideas of what he'd like to do with Lucanis, but he thinks they should probably go on a real date first.

"Well… I think it would taste better if you ate it with me. Joy shared is doubled, after all."

"Hmm, if you insist," Lucanis' words are filled with mirth- he's already pushing himself up from the wall.

"I do insist," Rhava gives an overly dramatic nod, and is gone from the pantry doorway a second later.

Lucanis emerges to find him quickly busying himself in the small kitchen. He places two forks onto the platter holding the final slice of torte and then fixes himself a cup of coffee- two sugars, and just a little cream. The mug he chooses is a sturdy one of Dalish design, made of earth toned clay that match the torte. Rhava's cup goes onto the platter as well, which he balances like a tray on one hand. His free hand he offers to Lucanis- who takes it with no questioning other than the eyebrow he raises.

Rhava only offers a smile in a return, and then pulls Lucanis to follow him over to the red couch nestled in the corner of the dining hall. He sets the platter down on the coffee table, and flops down onto the couch like he owns it.

"Sit," Rhava requests, patting the spot next to him.

When Lucanis hesitates, he pats the couch again, once more with fervor.

"Siiiiit," he insists, "I don't bite."

"We both know that's not true," Lucanis jokes as he settles down next Rhava.

Rhava giggles, smothering the noise and his smitten expression behind a hand. Once he settles himself, he leans forward and takes the cake platter from the coffee table. He glances at the sliver of space between them, and rather than widen that gap, he scoots close enough to press the sides of their thighs together so he can balance the platter between them.

"I've got something to chew on, so you're safe for now," Rhava says, picking up a fork. Lucanis takes the other fork, and sets his own coffee cup on the platter.

"I'll have to keep making you treats, then. To ensure my safety."

That sounds nice. Too nice.

"Be careful making offers like that. While I may be easily bribed, my appetite is ravenous," Rhava warns, and maybe he's talking about more than food.

"I can adjust the grocery list accordingly. Just let me know if you have any special requests."

Lucanis is smiling like they're sharing a secret. Rhava wants to be frustrated with him.

If he requested some hard-to-find, stupidly expensive vintage? If he asked for out of season assan'adhal bark? Or asked him to make the paella recipe he grew up eating with his clan?

He's sure Lucanis would do his best to make it happen.

Rhava knows how much money Lucanis' contracts rake in- he knows the man could easily pay to fill any kind of appetite Rhava presented him with. And judging by the special dessert that had been prepared for him- which Emmrich had subtly informed him was a labor intensive confection- Lucanis was just as rich in devotion and motivation. The sum of it all is enough to make Rhava speechless. He tries to hide his mollified expression behind a sip of coffee, but Lucanis is giving him a curious look that tells him he's not successful in his deception. Whatever he's thinking about the exchange, he keeps it to himself.

A comfortable silence falls between them. The only sounds in the dining hall are the crackling fire, the quiet sipping of coffee, and the scraping of forks as they leisurely snack on the final torte slice. If the conversation had died like that with anyone else, Rhava would be scrambling to save face and fill the dead air. He doesn't feel that urge here, confident that Lucanis either understands the reason for his silence or otherwise is content with his lack of understanding. It leaves space in the quiet that stretches between them for Rhava to gather himself again.

It doesn't take too long for his mind to start wandering to all of the unresolved questions between them- all of the little moments that have led to this casual closeness. So far he's been content to let things unfold at the pace Lucanis was comfortable with. His freedom was fresh, and they were both under so much pressure. It was nice to just enjoy the time they had together. But still… some questions begged to be asked.

Rhava is audacious in the way he breaks anything, especially silences.

"Soooo," a playful grin slowly brightens his face as he teases, "I was the key to your mind prison, huh?"

Lucanis makes a noise halfway between a laugh and groan, "Rook-"

"Lucanis," Rhava cuts him off, sounding half fond and half exasperated, "Call me Rhava. Please."

"Of course, forgive me," he amends, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's fine," Rhava knocks his knees against Lucanis', making their cups wobble precariously, "I just.. like hearing you say it… is all."

"I see," Lucanis digests that information before continuing, "Rhava, if I trust my thoughts to anyone, it's you."

Rhava isn't sure if it's Lucanis obliging his request or the actual words he's saying that causes warmth to bloom across his face. He wants to crack a joke and say that Lucanis has questionable taste, to break the tension thrumming through him. He can't find the words. The way Lucanis is looking at him is so warm and painfully earnest, it scares Rhava. Lucanis trusts him so much. All of the care Lucanis could give- was he worthy? Could he hold a love that soft without some dreadful consequence? Lucanis deserved better than to be hurt by some stupid mistake he'd inevitably make.

"Rhava?" Lucanis asks, after after the pause in conversation stretches on a few seconds too long.

Rhava's eyes dart to his lips, the way they move as Lucanis speaks his name. He has to ask now- before he can talk himself out of it.

"If I kiss you right now, are you going to pull away again?"

There's an expected expression of surprise, but then he watches as Lucanis' mouth twitches and he realizes quickly that he's being smirked at. When he draws his heavy gaze up, there's a heat in the way Lucanis is looking at him that matches the rapidly sparking fire in his own wide eyes. He's sure he's gone pink all the way to the tips of his pointed ears with how aflame he feels.

"Only one way to find out," Lucanis says, voice now quiet and low- taking on the same breathy quality Rhava has only heard once before. The last time they were this close. He feels like he's going to pass out.

As if he knows Rhava needs the grounding, Lucanis tucks an errant strand of hair behind his ear. Following the motion, he gently tangles his fingers in Rhava's hair, cupping the back of his head. He has that same confidence he'd displayed when he'd backed him up against a wall, and shows no signs of leaving him high and dry this time. Then again, Rhava hadn't expected him to pull away last time.

Just as the first slivers of anxiety start to sink their claws in, Lucanis pulls him in for a kiss.

It's everything Rhava had hoped it would be, and more. It's sweet. He's intrigued. Lucanis' lips brush against his with tentative intention. Rhava is bolder in how he meets the invitation, surging forward with all of the hunger and curiosity he can communicate in the short time he's given. He thinks any amount of time spent pressed against Lucanis would be too short- that this is a taste he could get lost in exploring.

He's only just begun to lose himself in the feeling when Lucanis starts to pull away. That won't do. He wasn't done yet.

Rhava follows Lucanis' retreat, leaning forward to capture his lips in another kiss. Lucanis lets him, curling his fingers to lightly grip Rhava's hair. He can feel the pleased upturn of Lucanis' mouth against his, a smile he's happy to devour. It's all the encouragement he needs to get even closer. Without a second thought, he moves to straddle Lucanis' lap- and is rewarded with the clatter and splash of the forgotten cake platter, forks, and half-empty cups of coffee being unceremoniously dumped onto the floor.

Rhava can't bring himself to care, not when he has Lucanis right where he wants him. If Lucanis has any protests about the mess then he doesn't voice them, just places a steadying open palm on his thigh. The spot of contact fans the flames burning through Rhava, a steady growing fire looking for more to engulf. One of his hands tangles in dark, feathery hair- a mirror of Lucanis' own hand in his hair- while the other finds a grip on the fine fabric of his vest. Both soft sensations under his fingertips, but nothing compared to the silken feel of their kiss.

A crackling, electric magic fills the air around them, and Rhava doesn't have to open his eyes to sense Spite's luminous wings wrapping around him. The demon's presence is smoothed out in the Fade, but he still manifests with a frenetic energy Rhava can feel raising the hairs on the back of his neck. It shouldn't be a surprise when two wingtips ghost against his back, sending a pleasant shock up his spine. He gasps at the sensation, and Lucanis pulls away enough to give him a concerned look. Before he can question what happened, or accuse Spite of any malicious intent, he's taken aback by the sound of Rhava's breathy laughter.

"Sorry," Rhava says, "I got… absorbed in the moment, forgot we have another participant."

"Don't encourage him," Lucanis sighs.

Rhava hums thoughtfully and presses his forehead against Lucanis'. This time when Spite's wings brush against him in an embrace, he doesn't startle. The demon holds him closer as Lucanis slowly loosens his grip and removes his hand from his hair. Rhava can feel the moment ending, like a candle at the end of it's wick, but he's still lingering in the glow.

"That was nice," Rhava murmurs.

"It was nice," Lucanis replies, just as quiet. He brushes his thumb along the line of Rhava's jaw before finally letting his hand fall away.

"It's late," he says, and has to steel himself against the way Rhava's shoulders fall in disappointment to continue, "You should get some rest. I'll clean up here."

"Fenedhis lasa," Rhava swears under his breath, "The mess.. I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," Lucanis pulls away enough to press a kiss to his cheek, "That was worth it."

There's a beat of silence as Rhava revels in the easy affection Lucanis always seems ready to give to him. Love served on a silver platter.

"You should get some rest," Lucanis repeats himself.

"So should you," he shoots back.

"I'll go to sleep if you do."

Rhava manages to hold back a laugh- Lucanis drives a hard bargain.

"Contract accepted."

Between Crows, that's better than a pinky promise.

It's only with that reassurance that Lucanis will also rest that Rhava is able to pull himself away from his paramour. He doesn't want to keep Lucanis up any later than he already has. Well.. he does want to, but he shouldn't. So he lays one final, fleeting kiss on Lucanis' forehead before he fully disentangles himself from his lap.

Despite knowing they both need sleep sooner rather than later, he pauses in the doorway, lingering in the dregs of the moment. He's sure he looks as besotted as he feels; he's not trying to hide it.

"Good night, Lucanis," he says, "Thank you."

"Sleep well, Rhava."

Rhava takes the fond look that Lucanis gives him and the way he says his name, and holds it fresh in his memory as he makes his way back to his room. He hopes that maybe- if he turns the kiss they'd shared over in his mind enough- he will have better dreams tonight.

~*~

"Tastes like. Dessert," Spite says, after the door swings shut behind Rhava.

Lucanis nods slowly, ignoring the mess at his feet and sinking further down into the couch. He closes his eyes and sinks into the new memory of a kiss- his first with Rhava- hoping to etch every detail of the experience into the back of his eyelids. He's used to using his trained mind to commit bloody plans to memory, trying to relish in the afterglow of a kiss is a welcome change. The taste is still fresh on his lips. Coffee and chocolate and hazelnut and cream and apricot and sugar and something else distinctly Rhava.

"Yes, like dessert," Lucanis breathes out, still craving more.

#lucanis dellamorte #rookanis #rook de riva #dragon age #datv #dav #my writing #rhava #really proud of this one <3 #maybe i post sparring fic next?

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redpill-tfs · 1 day ago

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Red Wave

January 1st, 2025

Yo, so I started this Red Wave trial thing today. The docs said it’s supposed to, like, make your brain work better or something. Was told to track my thoughts in this journal thing. Honestly, I’m just here for the cash. I’m not buying into any of their science-y shit. Took the first pill this morning. Feel normal so far. Guess we’ll see if this stuff actually does anything.

Since I was told to describe myself a bit, I guess I might as well if I want that cash they promised. Name's Blake. I'm 26 and work at a local manufacturing company in the finance department. It's a pretty chill gig. Don't gotta wear a suit either which is good. Didn't even wear one to my graduation and I don't plan on starting now.

Anyway bro, I'm also a proud atheist. Never got into politics, but I guess I'm more liberal. I mean, just let people do what they want, right?

February 10th, 2025

Alright, not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling kinda sharp lately. Like, my head’s clearer, and I’m getting more stuff done at work. My boss Emily even said my presentation didn’t totally suck, which is rare. Oh, and I actually ironed my shirt today before work. Don’t know why—just felt like I should look decent. Weird, right? Maybe these pills aren’t total BS. I don't know why, but I've been thinking of wearing a tie to work...

March 12th, 2025

So get this, man: I bought a suit over the weekend. A whole grownup suit and a tie to go with it. I dunno know why, but I just felt like stepping up my game for my presentation at work today. And man did I look good. I got so many compliments on my fit. It honestly felt really good. My bros thought it was weird and so do I, but now that I have it I guess I'll use it at another presentation in the future.

April 15th, 2025

Something weird is going on. I heard some chick at work talking about her church today. Instead of scoffing and rolling my eyes, it made me, like, think a little. Like I got curious about it. I don't know what's going on, but I might have to check it out sometime.

Speaking of work, I've been wearing a tie more and more. It feels... right. People seem to notice too. I get so many compliments about them. I went back to the store and pick out a whole bunch of different colors. I may be the only guy in the department wearing one, but standing out isn't a bad thing I guess.

May 18th, 2025

Alright, so… I went to church today. Yeah, me. Blake, the proud atheist. Walked past St. Mark’s on the way to grab Starbuck's, and something just made me stop and go in. The music was kind of awesome, and the pastor’s talk about purpose hit me harder than I expected. I don’t even know what’s happening to me, but I’m starting to think there’s more to life than what I’ve been living. I might go back next week to see what I've been missing, but I'm not sure yet.

June 30th, 2025

This morning, I prayed. Like, actually prayed to God. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but it felt… good. I’ve also started reading bits of the Bible over the past week. There’s some deep stuff in there. Work’s going great, too. I’ve been mentoring one of the new guys, and Emily says she’s impressed with my leadership. Suits are now my everyday thing. Who knew dressing sharp could feel so right?

July 23rd, 2025

I’ve been pulling away from my old friends. Their whole sarcastic, edgy vibe just doesn’t sit right with me anymore. Instead, I’ve been hanging out with people from church who share my interest in self-improvement and faith. I’m even thinking about joining a volunteer group at the church. Life feels more meaningful now. My mind still feels so clear too. I don't know what this pill is doing to me, but it's working.

August 11th, 2025

I’ve been reflecting on some big ideas lately: responsibility, tradition, family values. They make so much sense now. I’ve also started watching a few commentators online who align with these views. Their logic is compelling. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. It’s like a veil has been lifted. Why should abortion be legal? Why should we violate the second amendment with gun control laws? Why do gays think thy can decide how the rest of us live our lives? So many questions I'm learning the answers to. I never paid much attention to politics, but maybe I should.

September 7th, 2025

Sunday service has become the cornerstone of my week. I’ve officially joined St. Mark’s and volunteered for their community outreach. Pastor Williams’s guidance has been invaluable. I’m entirely committed to this new path. My wardrobe, my habits, even my worldview have all transformed. I’m proud of the man I’ve become. I've said this a million times already, but it just feels right.

October 20th, 2025

Today is my birthday, and reflecting on this past year astounds me. My former self seems like a stranger. I’ve embraced faith, order, and purpose, and it just feels right. I got my hair cut to be a lot shorter than I once had it as a special birthday gift to myself. It feels more appropriate for my new image.

I had some friends from bible study over for a small party. I wore my best suit for the occasion. We played games, ate good food, and prayed of course. There was a riveting debate on the role of faith in politics. All in all, it was a good time. I can't believe how much my life has changed just in 10 months.

November 30th, 2025

Today was the final day of the trial. The scientist leading the study asked me all sorts of questions, from my conservative views to my faith in God and my new sense of style. I'm not sure what it all has to do with a mental focus pill, but I didn't feel like asking questions. I'm sure they know what they're doing. Anyways, I better get going. St. Mark's is having an event today to celebrate God and all of His glory. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

December 1st, 2025

The Red Wave trial has concluded with a 100% conversion rate among participants. Subjects exhibited profound and permanent shifts in personality, behavior, and worldview. Pre-trial skepticism and liberal inclinations were entirely replaced with conservative, faith-based identities. This case highlights the pill's efficacy in aligning individuals with structured, traditional conservative values. Further research will examine long-term societal impacts of widespread application. More subjects needed.

#lib to con #liberal to conservative #atheist to christian #transformation #male transformation #suit and tie #preppy tf

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zepskies · 3 days ago

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Aww here we go!! 😍 👏🏽👏🏽 I've been very excited to see what you'd do with Russell, considering your affinity and talent for writing our favorite law enforcement boys. This was just as twisty and exciting as I thought it would be!

“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.

loll what I'd give to make sure he's got everything nice and fluffy. 😏

(A hot tub in the back, huh? Wayne, stop giving me ideas for ESC one-shots. 🥵🫠)

Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.

Ooh yep! You really picked up on aspects of Russell's personality that I felt inherently when I was watching (studying) him, but hadn't consciously put into words. 👌🏽

All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.

It's also so interesting (and crazy) how little Russ and Colter know about each other now as men. There's got to be shades of who they were when they were younger, but it's bittersweet in a sense. And now they're both trying to suss each other out like lone wolves that are kinda sorta friends. 😂

Of course, there's still that "I thought you killed our dad" for 20+ years -- on Colter's end. 😅

“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care. He cared a fucking lot.

Okay, this whole thing with the reader is fascinating. Because why does he have to go through all this trouble to find her if they've been a thing for 10...12...14...20-something years?! (Love how the number in Russell's "memory" just kept getting longer. 🤣🤣) It feels so sketchy all around, and oh so intriguing. Why haven't they seen each other in so long? Were they...

And if she's still "in the game," how does Russell think he's going to get her out and settle down with him? 😏

I'm full of questions, but I know you have a brilliant master plan for all of this. I've noticed this about the most recent stories you've created, but you're so very good at writing these law enforcement/military men paired with heroines that share their world, almost the "same foxhole" type of deal. Except for that his heroine partners usually outrank him. 😏

I tend to go the opposite route, partly because I'm interested in the dynamic between these kinds of men and a "civilian," but also because I don't think I'd be able to do the "same foxhole" trope justice. So that's something I really admire about you as a writer. 💜

The push and pull banter between Colter and Russ in this chapter was also so fun to read lol. I could literally quote every moment because it was all so well-written and priceless. And it just kept building up the mystery of the reader and why Russell is doing all of this, right up until that awesome cliffhanger!!

This first chapter hooked me right in -- can't wait to dive into chapter 2 next! 🤩🤩

The Exit Strategy – Part 1

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there's one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, mystery, a tinge of angst, humor & brotherly banter, one tiny surprise 🤓

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy 🎄❤️

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 1: This Is Not a Pipe

The heavy truck door slammed shut behind him as Russell slid into the passenger seat with an exhaustive sigh. Colter’s big pickup was parked right next to his beautiful Chevelle in that same old motel parking lot in Virginia.

Russell hadn’t moved – yet. Well, sort of. He’d been away on assignment in some frosty region for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t allowed to say where exactly he’d been, and he knew better than to put it into writing, so let’s just agree he was at the North Pole looking for Santa Claus.

He could’ve ended up anywhere he wanted once he touched ground in the States again, but a very appreciated phone call from a former colleague made the decision for him. Besides, Russell knew this particular motel well. The coffee was more than decent and got the job done, the owner and employees were nice, comforting, and, most of all, trustworthy, and there were always fresh towels.

“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,�� Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.

Oh, and they had a hot tub in the back…

“Thanks for coming, man,” Russell extended his greeting without glancing at his younger brother once. He could feel Colter’s scrutinizing eyes on him, though, drilling for answers. Granted, his request had been rather unusual, so Russell understood where his younger brother’s ever-frozen furrowed brow stemmed from.

“Yeah, uh, sure,” Colter replied with a polite smile as he started the car and rolled out of the lot.

Ah, yes, politeness…

That was what they were at, although it was progressively improving. It was only the third time the brothers were seeing each other since they had reconnected. And while the last two encounters had given the Shaws some well-needed time to talk things out and build trust, Colter was still naturally wary of his estranged sibling. As was Russell.

“So, what’s this about? You were pretty vague on the phone. You in trouble?”

That finally caught Russell’s full attention. He quickly shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his face. “What? No! No… No trouble,” he swiftly assuaged his brother with a dismissive hand gesture and a lighthearted chuckle. “Just need your help tracking down an old friend of mine, is all.”

Colter quirked an eyebrow at that. “Another Army buddy of yours?”

“Uh, something like that, yeah,” Russell replied rather mysteriously and didn’t even try to conceal the fact that he was hiding something more behind his ambiguous answer. But Colter only intensified his stare at him and wouldn’t let go that easily. Russell knew that. After all, they were related.

Persistence was a Shaw family trait. Another survival skill, if you will.

But this time, Russell wasn’t hiding a big government secret (or maybe he was). No lives depended on this particular mission (or so he thought). He wasn’t protecting a client, a company, or even his dubious employer (but someone else). He wasn’t choked by an NDA or about to save someone in grave danger (as far as he knew).

No, if anything, it was the fact that Russell didn’t know how much he could or should share with his brother. They were related, yes. But, technically, they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so they weren’t just considered merely estranged but strangers. Russell had always been aware of that fact, and Colter was beginning to catch on.

Especially during this mission.

See, once upon a time, the two hadn’t been just brothers. After moving to the cabin, societal contacts became scarce for the siblings. All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.

How much did they really know about each other now, though? How much of the old was still there?

“So, who are we looking for? What’s the guy’s name?” Colter asked, suddenly eager as he jumped into gear. He had always been restless, even as a kid, which fondly reminded Russell of their childhood.

But how much was he still the Russell that Colter once knew?

Well, Russell, on the other hand, remained calm and ruffled a casual hand through his beard. “Well, she’s, uh–”

Eyebrow cocked, Colter snapped his head to the passenger seat where his brother started to squirm. “Oh… Oh, so it’s a she,” he emphasized with a small grin. “Now I think I get it.”

There it is. I knew it, Russell thought with an internal sigh. In order for this mission to work, he knew he had to reveal some things. Private things. Things about himself and his life. Going in, Russell knew he couldn’t ask Colter for help without giving him something.

Their father had loved tests (and so did you – but that’s another story…). Russell always thought it had been the professor in him. So, Russell saw this as a test as well.

Could he trust Colter? And more pressingly, considering some long held accusations of murder, did Colter trust him?

A clear of Russell’s throat cut right through Colter’s chuckle. And then, the eldest tried his best to give no reaction at all. “Yes, she’s a… woman, but hold your horses. It’s not what you think, okay?” Colter lifted his eyebrow once more, causing Russell to heave another exhaustive sigh. “Fine, alright? It’s exactly what you think.”

Well, close enough, Russell thought. He knew Colter couldn’t even possibly imagine the reality in his wildest dreams.

Usually, Russell was an expert in avoiding uncomfortable questions. He was a pro at ditching answers and keeping secrets, even under torture and duress. However, there was just something entirely unique about dodging questions posed by little brothers.

And Russell saw it as a perfect bonding opportunity. He wanted to fill the chasm between them that their father’s death had caused – once and for all. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t walking around on eggshells most of the time – something that reminded him of you again.

Learning from past mistakes, Russell wanted Colter to experience the fun side of him. The one that brewed his own beer, cared too much about his car, and had weird tastes in food. He chose to leave out the rest – the dark stuff and the very best stuff, too.

After all, Russell was good at omitting things.

Colter chuckled triumphantly. “Does this mean you’re finally giving up on Reenie?”

Amused, Russell let out a snort. “Ha! You wish… First things first, alright? Let’s just see how this thing pans out. It’s kind of a long shot. You know that exit plan I told you about?”

“Yeah, you wanna open your own brewery, right?”

He cared a fucking lot.

“Really? Okay.” Colter scratched his jaw and gave his words some thought. Then he offered a small, yet kind, smile. Honestly, Russell didn’t know what he had expected. “But, you know, if you want me to find the future Mrs. Shaw, I’m gonna need more information to go on. A name, last address, or a-, uh, a picture, maybe?”

“Well, name’s not gonna help you much in this case.” Your first name might’ve been shareable intel, but your last name was of the highest classification. “Her last address that I know of was in Berlin. And while I do have one photo of her, it’s not meant for your eyes, brother,” Russell said with a firmly territorial look that still carried a mischievous twinkle, revealing the exact nature of the photograph to be indeed inappropriate.

Russell had one naughty photo, yes. But he had a whole giant box of others, too.

Colter’s eyebrows met above his nose as he licked his lips. Customarily, people gave him more details when they needed him to find someone. But then again, those people usually weren’t his brother. “Do you know anything about this woman? How long have you two dated?”

“Uhm… not that long,” Russell supplied with a clear of his throat before mumbling the rest of his answer, hoping his beard would swallow most of his words. “Ten years. Give or take…”

What is time anyway if nothing but a concept, right?

Colter blinked at him and almost steered the vehicle off-road before gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry… Did you just say ten years?”

“Well, might be more like twelve,” he admitted finally. “Well, anyways, saw her last three years ago.”

“Wow, okay, uhm…” Colter became quiet for a moment, speechless probably, the tiny bits of information running on a loop through his mind. He figured his brother still had lived a life while they hadn’t been speaking. Of course he had. He just never thought about what that life might have entailed, aside from classified military operations. “So, you’ve dated a woman for twelve years…”

“Fourteen.”

“…haven’t seen her in three, and know basically nothing about her?”

Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous… Not even sure the name she did give me was her real one,” he said. It was a joke. He did know the name. He knew everything there was to know about you. So, maybe he did lie – sometimes. “But it’s the job, you know? It’s-, uh, it’s complicated.”

That part was true. Truer than he could ever possibly describe in words.

“I guess so…” Colter sighed, and Russell could hear the growing frustration. “So, she does what you do?”

Russell nodded. “In a way, yeah…” And Colter knew what that answer meant – he couldn’t say more. Again. “But don’t worry. We won’t have to turn over every stone on the face of this planet. I have a general idea of where she lives these days,” Russell provided. “One of my, uh, associates was working a job with her not that long ago. That’s how I found out she’s back in the States.”

Colter nodded in acceptance, knowing it was no use to try and prod more answers out of his brother. “Alright. Guess that’s something. So, where are we headed to?”

Russell then flashed him a grin with newfound determination sparkling in his green eyes. “Falls Church.”

The short drive had remained quiet for the most part. Colter refrained from asking more questions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get straight answers out of his older brother in one form or the other. To accentuate Colter’s assumption of receiving non-answers, Russell mostly stared out the window with an intensity that had Colter believe his brother was counting trees when, in fact, Russell was pondering what he would, could, or should tell Colter.

Of course, Colter could also always ask more questions about their elusive father, but he didn’t do that either. Sure, one could say he was curious. More than that even.

What did Russell really know about his death? Their mother? Their family? Their work?

Another time, he kept telling himself throughout whenever he stole glances at his long-lost sibling. It was too soon. What was the point when Russell was so clearly reluctant to share anything at all?

Thus, there was nothing left but silence among peaceful woods and dense foliage till Colter pulled his truck over curbside in the idyllic town center of Falls Church.

Patiently, he waited a moment for Russell to open the floor and tell them their next logical steps. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, blew raspberries, clicked his tongue, and waited and waited and waited…

Nothing.

If Colter didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought someone carved a lifeless wax statue out of his brother and planted it on his passenger seat. Russell’s entire body stood motionless, only a set of green eyes flickered alive every once in a while and swayed out the windshield in search of something – or someone.

“So, what’s the plan here?” Colter asked with a clear of his throat. “You just wanna stay here and wait till she accidentally runs across the street?” It was meant as a joke, but to Colter’s dismay, Russell remained dead serious.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” the older Shaw confirmed and squinted his eyes at the busy street. Again, he had omitted a few things. In his mind, Colter didn’t need to know why Russell knew to be in front of the post office at exactly 15:03 (UTC–4) on a Tuesday.

Colter snorted a laugh. “What? C’mon, that can’t be the plan… Do you know how many people live in Falls Church? Or in the general Washington metropolitan area? We could be here for days. Weeks even…” The younger Shaw then switched fully into work mode, grabbing his phone from the Bluetooth car mount. “We’re never gonna find her like this. You got a phone number, maybe?” But before Russell could answer, Colter replied himself, shaking his head at his own silliness. “What am I even asking? Of course you don’t.”

Russell only smirked at that. Restless, he thought again.

“What about an old one? Maybe even that would help. I could call Bobby, Reenie… You got anything? Nothing?” But the younger Shaw’s questions apparently stumbled upon deaf ears. “Russell? Russ? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to help you here. You could at least–”

“Found her!”

Russell almost jumped out of the car as his voice rang with sheer excitement. His heart was beating a mile a minute when his emerald eyes landed on the target. It felt like the very first time all over again.

Granted, the first meeting didn’t go so smoothly – there had definitely been some bumps (all on his part). Then again, he expected this next meeting to go a little roughly too (again, all on him).

“Wait, what?!”

Russell downright beamed. “Told you this would work.”

Colter only scoffed under his breath, the familiar competitiveness crawling back to the surface. “Yeah, well, beginner’s luck, okay?”

One boot had nearly touched asphalt before Russell remembered this wasn’t a situation that required him to storm in guns a-blazing – not even covert. Gentle hands, he reminded himself and swiftly closed the car door again, falling back into his seat. His lungs deflated.

Colter, on the other hand, was more confused than ever. “What-, uh, what are you doing?” Half-amused, his brow furrowed a bit more. “If you’ve found her, go talk to her. Where is she? Who is it?”

Curiosity could only be contained for so long. Colter wanted to know who had been a part of his brother’s life for almost as long as he had. He felt this was a key piece of information that would cause the first domino to fall. And then, revelation after revelation about Russell’s past would unravel.

Basically, Colter was waiting for the big epiphany. No pressure.

Russell vehemently shook his head. “Can’t. At least not like this. I need more intel first. You need to find out her name, and then we need your guy Bobby to get onto this.”

And yet again, guess what? Yes, Russell was, indeed, omitting things.

“Me? Why me?” Colter blinked at him. Surprise, surprise…

“‘Cause, obviously, she’d recognize me,” Russell pointed out. Again, omission. Like he had explained earlier, it was a real problem…

Colter exhaled a deep sigh. “Okay, and I’m guessing you’re still not gonna tell me why we’re doing all of this, right?”

“Nope.”

“Yup, thought so.” Still not convinced, Colter narrowed his eyes at his clearly paranoid brother. Maybe paranoia ran in the family. Not to point fingers – he recognized it in himself, too. “Do we really need to go through all that trouble? I mean, you’ve known that woman for, what, fourteen years, you said? Isn’t that a little extreme… even for you?”

Fifteen, Russell corrected in his mind. Close to sixteen. Nineteen max.

“Just trust me, okay? It’s necessary,” Russell reassured, knowing those words bore some weight. Hurriedly (he was getting antsy – this was a time-sensitive issue), he pointed a finger out the window to the sidewalk across the street. “You see that woman walking into the post office? That’s her.”

“What, the brunette in the flowery dress with the golden cross necklace? That’s her?”

“Yup.”

“Wow, okay…” Surprised didn’t come close to explain how Colter felt. He had expected… different. His brow almost met his hairline, but he still tried his best to conceal his wonder – to no avail.

Suspiciously, Russell leaned back in his seat and assessed his brother’s demeanor with a small glare. “What?”

“Nothing.” Colter threw his hands up in surrender, swallowing. “Just… She doesn’t really seem like your type.”

Amused, Russell stifled a chuckle. “And what exactly do you think is my type, little brother?”

“I don’t know…”

“What, you think some nice Christian girl is too good for me?” Russell deadpanned. Admittedly, he enjoyed bantering with his little brother. It reminded him of what he had missed out on for years. This was what he had wanted and longed for since he had left the family at eighteen.

Well, “left” wasn’t really the right word for it now, was it? It implied a voluntary act, and his leaving wasn’t so voluntary.

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Colter countered, laughing. “It’s just, you know… dental hygienist in a motel hot tub springs to mind.”

“Okay, alright… You done?” Russell huffed, shaking his head. He refrained from showing his honest amusement. “You’re gonna follow her in or not?”

“Alright, I’ll go,” Colter finally agreed somewhat enthusiastically and jumped out of the car, swiftly following the woman inside. After all, he was curiouser and curiouser…

Russell kept his eyes trained on his younger brother until Colter vanished inside the post office. Now, it was out of his hands, only hoping his little brother wouldn’t blow it. Chances were high he would. Not that Russell didn’t have some faith.

He just had more faith in you.

Colter spotted you picking up mail from a PO box and decided on a plan of action in a matter of seconds. After all, he was quick thinking on his feet and the best at what he did. That’s why he was here. That’s why Russell had picked him for the job, right?

As you made your way back to the door, Colter eloquently intercepted you without disturbing the crowd. Another thing he had learned from his father.

He bumped straight into your shoulder and almost tackled you to the ground by the sheer force of his sneak attack. The mail in your hands scattered to the tiled floor like autumn leaves, and as Colter bent down to help you pick it up, he took a peek at your name on a postcard.

“Oh my God, would you look at that… I’m so sorry, Miss–,” the younger Shaw apologized clumsily, “Nora Laurier.” He uttered your name with a suave smile as he handed you back your pile of letters. The flirt in his eyes, however, he only added for Russell as revenge for Reenie. “Beautiful name.”

Your hands lingered on the letters between you for a moment as you took in his features and tall stature. It left you with a strange haunting of familiarity.

“Thank you,” you finally said with a hint of a smile as he let go of the mail. “Be more careful next time.”

“I will. Sorry again.” Colter chuckled with blushed cheeks and watched you leave. He waited till you had passed the row of windows before exiting himself.

He was a good actor, too.

Antsy, Russell almost bit his lip bloody as he stared the post office down till a migraine began to form. God, what he wouldn’t pay for some X-ray vision and super-hearing. He could be downright Superman with that – and the hero always got the girl.

His heart dithered anew with longing as you walked out – it took his breath away. You always did that, and you did it well. But then, you stopped short for a mere second, which wouldn’t have caused a civilian to raise a single brow. But Russell did.

“Shit…” he mumbled in the silence of the truck and lowered himself down to the dashboard. He watched you reach for your phone in your purse and call someone as you headed down the street.

Eventually, you stopped three houses east and finished your call in the shade of a tree next to a busy (and noisy) bus station. Russell caught your eyes drifting back to the doors of the post office, though, just as his little brother walked out and jogged towards the car.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Russell ducked even further down, hitting his head in several places. “What did that knucklehead do?”

The driver’s door opened as Colter casually slipped inside. “Got a name,” he announced victoriously. Part of his happiness emanated from gathering yet another puzzle piece of his mysterious brother – meeting you. “She goes by Nora Laurier now… And she seems nice. Way too nice for you, actually…” As he drifted off, his eyes searched for the elder one before finding him almost kissing the floor mat. “Russ, uh… What-, uh, what are you doing down there?”

“What the hell did you do?” Russell’s tone was both snappy and frustrated.

“Whoa, what d’you mean what did I do?” Colter waved off defensively. “I did what you told me to do!”

“She made you!”

“She did not make me,” Colter brushed off with a laugh, quite confident of his own skill set. They’d had the same teacher. He would know if you had suspected anything.

“Then why did she wait and look after you, huh?” Russell pointed out in annoyance.

Colter’s lips itched to break a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to teach his flirt of a brother a well-needed lesson. “Well, maybe I caught her eye… piqued her interest, you know?”

Russell cocked a brow from below, his stare lethal. “Did you flirt with her?”

Colter hesitated for a moment. Mostly for dramatic effect. “I-, uh… You told me to get her name. ‘Sides, I told you Reenie was off limits.”

“Oh, so this is about revenge? Very mature.” Russell frowned. “She still there?”

“Where?” Colter stretched himself a bit as he looked out the windshield.

“Tree. Bus station.”

An amused smile formed on Colter’s lips as he spotted you. “Oh, yeah. I see her. I don’t think she suspects anything. She’s not even loo-… No, uh, wait… Yup.”

“What?” Russell’s brows drew together as he rose a little from his crouched position.

“Yeah, she’s definitely looking over here.”

“Well, stop looking down,” Russell hissed through gritted teeth. After a deep breath, he spoke in a calmer, more advising tone, “Pretend I’m not here.”

“Trying to, trust me… Should I wave at her? Smile?”

“Are you nuts?! Just look ahead. Pretend you’re getting a phone call.”

Colter did as he was told and held his phone to his ear. “She’s still looking,” he informed with a pressed smile, barely moving his mouth when he spoke.

“Okay, what’s she doing now?”

“There’s a-, uh, there’s a car coming and pulling over by the bus station. Dark gray Audi A6. Virginia Plates. Yankee-Papa-Charlie-5824,” Colter said as Russell hauled a pen from his pocket and began to jot down the plate numbers on his left palm.

“Copy that.”

He’d memorize them anyway, but one could never be too safe. He could get a concussion in the next hour or so (most likely because of you), and then what?

“Okay, she’s getting in,” Colter narrated. “Driver’s in his late-thirties. Male. Glasses. Medium height. Medium build… I think you could take him,” he added with a teasing grin.

“Shut up,” Russell retorted. “Are they gone now?”

“Pulling away from the curb and… Yep, they’re gone. Headed south down the road,” Colter affirmed.

“Alright.” Russell popped back into his seat with a sigh and some sore muscles. He had been sure he’d heard a few bones crack while he’d been cowering down there. He might be finally getting too old for these missions. But that was part of the reason why he was here in the first place – retirement was calling. And Russell wanted to fill the chair next to him on the porch.

“You good?” Colter checked and choked the small laugh that wanted to escape upon the ruffled sight of his older brother.

“Yeah, go ahead and follow them. Just keep a low profile,” Russell instructed. “On our way, you might wanna call your op analyst, too. See what he can find out.”

“Alright,” Colter agreed somewhat reluctantly but still tailed the sedan. “You sure this is a good idea?”

“What d’you mean?” Russell said mindlessly, keeping his eyes focused on the target vehicle.

“Us… stalking your ex-girlfriend?” Colter noted with a cocked brow. “And her potentially new boyfriend?”

Russell only laughed at that. “We’re good. Trust me.”

Admittedly, though, a small part of him wondered (and worried) if this was all real. Maybe Nora Laurier wasn’t your real name, but it might be your actual new one – one you’d adopted as a safety precaution after you’d left it all behind. Maybe you had finally done it and retired, found a perfectly normal guy, and settled down – just without him.

Or:

Maybe you were still in the game, after all.

Russell was hoping it was the latter. Otherwise, he could probably expect a hefty restraining order in his future, but he wasn’t about to tell Colter that. Not until he knew for sure.

The Audi parked in front of an organic grocery store a few blocks down. Colter chose a spot across the parking lot, keeping a reasonable distance with the perfect view. Russell watched as you and Unnamed Man #1 sauntered into the store, an arm slung tightly around your waist and a smile on your face.

While on the phone with Bobby, Colter could tell that the sight of you in another man’s arms stung. “Okay, uh, thanks, Bobby.”

“What’d he say?” Russell fired as soon as Colter had removed the phone even just an inch from his ear.

“Uh, well, there’s some bad news,” Colter revealed hesitantly and licked his lips, not knowing how he was supposed to break his brother’s heart. “Bobby ran the plate number through the DMV. It’s registered to an Aiden Laurier.”

“Laurier?” Undeniably, Russell’s heart flinched at the connection. “Maybe a brother. Cousin…”

Or a colleague, Russell’s mind stubbornly added.

Colter bit his lower lip hard before he spoke, “They’ve been married for two years. I’m sorry, Russ.”

A hand comfortingly patted Russell’s shoulder. A part of him wanted to scream heavenward, but something else inside was gnawing on him.

He clicked his tongue. “No… No.” Sure, one could argue that denial was always the first step of grief. “No. No way she married sweater-vest John Mulaney over there.”

“I’m pretty sure she did. Bobby sent me the marriage certificate,” Colter countered and showed him the screenshot on his phone.

Russell glanced at it for a short second, not even bothering to waste more time on fake news. He shook his head. He knew better.

“Nah. I’m not buying it. You need to go in there and tell me what you see.” He sealed his words with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Colter exhaled deeply. “Russ, I-, uh, I think you need to let this go, man. You’re starting to… Never mind.”

“No. Go ahead. Say it,” Russell prompted with some thunder in his voice. “I’m reminding you of Dad, don’t I?”

Colter only twitched his shoulders. “I mean, yeah. A little.”

Russell’s head bobbed in thought before he met his little brother’s eyes. “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“The post office, the road crew over there, the-, the fake documents?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“C’mon… Just think about everything Dad taught us, huh?”

Was Colter really not getting it? Russell found that quite hard to believe. He had known his little brother to be as sharp as a whip. While Russell didn’t always have the nicest things to say about their father, he could admit the old man had prepared them well for life. Well, one life at least. This one.

The nomad life, the odd jobs that required them to have a particular set of skills like Liam Neeson.

Colter shook his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Russell.”

Russell let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, if you don’t see it, you don’t see it.” A smirk twitched in the corners of his lips. “It’s your funeral, brother…”

With narrowed eyes, Colter pursed his lips. “Alright, just tell me one thing, okay?”

“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Russell reiterated and brushed his beard.

“I know. I know… It’s not that kinda question,” the younger Shaw reassured.

“Go ahead,” Russell relented and curiously looked at his brother.

Within a second, Russell could think of a million questions Colter might want to ask him, but this hadn’t been one of them:

“In the past three years, how many times have you thought about her? And I don’t just mean ‘crossed your mind’ every couple of months. I mean ‘seriously thought’ about her?”

“Hmm.” Russell pondered for a moment before replying, “Every damn day.”

It wasn’t a lie, no omission of anything, and Colter could tell. You were the first thought that popped into Russell’s still groggy mind when he woke up and the last one every night that fluttered across his weary eyelids. Obviously, he didn’t give Colter the soppy answer, though.

“Fine. I’ll go,” Colter softened his stance. “You owe me,” he added with a pointed finger before setting foot outside the car.

“I do owe you. Anything you want, brother,” Russell agreed with a broad grin. “How about we start with a full case of my homebrew, huh?”

Colter danced gracefully through the aisles, spying through canned goods and boxes of cereal. He watched you carefully select fruit with your husband, move through the dairy talking about “organic” and “locally sourced” till you landed on a few choices of toothpaste and finally strolled to the cash register.

Everything seemed boringly normal and ordinary. You chatted with the cashier. They handed you a coupon, which you slipped into your purse. Your husband paid with his credit card (which carried the same name matching the DMV records), and both of you left the store with two paper bags in your arms.

Once through the sliding glass doors, you stopped and turned to your husband. “Darn, honey, I think we forgot the milk.”

“You want me to grab it?”

“No, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, I’ll wait by the car and load the rest of the groceries.”

Now, Colter found that odd. He had watched you spent at least five minutes in the dairy aisle. How could you forget something as basic as milk?

As you hushed inside, your husband sauntered back to the car, and Colter followed you back in. You passed right by the dairy and, with a few looks that resembled a scan of your surroundings, you slipped past the door that led to the restrooms.

Waiting a beat, Colter went in after you. But you were long gone – just not to the restroom. An ‘Employee Only’ door that led to a dumpster alley outside was just falling shut.

Granted, Colter had a bad feeling about this. It was the same feeling he always got shortly before walking into a trap. In his defense, though, you were not a seven-foot-tall, 300-pound kind of guy. He wasn’t about to be ambushed by Shaquille O’Neal, which is probably why Colter didn’t find it necessary to pull his gun.

In hindsight, he should have.

The narrow alley was quiet and empty, except for some trash littering the ground around the dumpsters. It was closed-off, too, wedged between buildings with no view to the parking lot or nearby streets.

And then, something hit him. Or better yet: You hit him. With an elbow to the face and a stiff, flat palm to his throat, Colter stumbled forward before you gave him the final blow and knocked him off balance, tackling him to the ground.

Pressing his cheek into the rough and unforgiving surface of the asphalt, you jumped on him and restrained his arms tightly behind his back. While he squirmed to get out of your hold, he didn’t use as much brutal force as you expected he would.

“Shit,” he muttered below you, his voice muffled by the gravel. A light chuckle escaped him. “Okay, you got me.”

“Sounds about right,” you agreed with a smirk and tightened your grip on his arm.

Then, Colter heard a gun click above him. Hoping to see his brother, he looked up – only to find your husband with a weapon in hand as he stared down the barrel.

“Ah, I think you broke my nose,” the younger Shaw mumbled with a groan.

“Good. You’ve been following me. Why?” you prompted sternly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? Jafari? Mueller?”

“Listen, I-I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not who you think I am,” Colter argued with a strained voice. What the hell had Russell gotten him into? “This is just a big misunderstanding.”

“Uh-huh.” You could only roll your eyes at that. How many times had you heard that line before?

“Let’s hood him. Get him to the Market,” your partner suggested. “We’ll see if he talks then.”

“No, really,” Colter insisted, growing a bit more uneasy. He had no idea what the Market was, but it didn’t sound pleasant. “You know my brother.”

“Who’s your brother?” With your elbow, you put more pressure on his back.

“Ow, alright…” Colter groaned once more as the pain intensified. “Looks kinda like me. Think two decades younger. He was in the Army, so probably didn’t have long hair and a beard. Uh, kind… green eyes? No? Doesn’t ring a bell?”

Colter watched your brow furrow in his periphery as he squinted upwards. He could see the gears starting to turn in your head. You just needed one final push to put all the puzzle pieces together.

“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”

“Shaw,” you shot like a missile. Your jaw plummeted to the ground, your heart springing right out with it. Your grip on the man caught between your thighs loosened, hearing Colter’s sigh of relief before you heard his voice.

“Hiya, sweetheart.”

Your head darted up, the man beneath you long forgotten. You swallowed as your eyes landed on an all too familiar face – even when it was covered by a bunch of hair that had never been there before. The heart-crushing smile was still the same as if it had been ripped straight from an old photograph you had of him.

“Russell?!”

Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission

Quite the entrance! Writing Russell reminded me somewhat of Plastic Hearts Dean (minus the addiction problems unless you count lying) because of all the wild overthinking 😂

If you enjoyed this story, then I'll gladly keep working on its prequel. Was a bit nervous to post this since I filled in some family history gaps myself 😅 I also dove into the books a little and added some things that kinda fit their "show" personalities.

Please let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in a young soldier!Russell series 😉🤍

TAGS:

Forevers: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02

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#the exit strategy #russell shaw #russell shaw x reader #russell shaw x you #russell shaw series #tracker #tracker cbs #lovely mutuals #zepskies reads

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alexanderwales · 2 days ago

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Pitchposting: The 72nd Virgin

Pitchposting is when I have a somewhat developed idea I'm committing to never putting much more work into, freeing it to a good home.

I've always thought that 72 virgins was just like ... a lot. I'm an introvert with low social needs and a fair bit of social anxiety, and the proper number of friends for me was like three or four close ones. And if you're in it for the sex, that still seems like too many women to me, even if there's some meaningful variation between these women.

But this is our premise: some guy goes to the afterlife, and there are lots and lots of women waiting for him to fulfill a supposed masculine fantasy, and our protagonist is the woman who is at the bottom of the rankings. She has her own room, her life is fine, but she just never sees the guy she was "meant for" and simply has no other purpose to her life.

This is interesting to me. It's got meat. It's about having a clear assigned purpose in life and that purpose being kind of pointless or lacking. Our protagonist is the backup to the backup to the backup etc., or a tool that's used once every few years, or a park that no one has the time to visit.

This is a risky sort of protagonist, the kind that is just ... sort of an aimless loser. The way to combat a lack of agency is with competence, and maybe that competence can be in other areas that are worthless-to-her, but it's still a book that would, by its nature, be about someone who is at the bottom. You could write a story about this protagonist somehow clawing her way to the top of the pile, but ... eh. Trying to win some man's approval by besting other women is also not a story that I find very interesting.

Instead, I think this story is sort of "one person's utopia is another's dystopia", the Utopia Incompleteness Theorem, except that we're not railing against the utopia itself (maybe), we're railing against being a cog in someone else's utopia. That might make a good title: "Someone Else's Utopia" or "Someone Else's Heaven".

So what kinds of things would I want to explore? What are the beats that interest me?

It's a scattering of scenes. A long table that seats 72, and our protagonist way at the end of it. Our protagonist talking with her friends about their date nights, feeling lonely and bitter about it. Trying to occupy herself with something that she doesn't care about because it's something to do. After a hundred years, finally a date with The Male, only to find it ... awful? Unfulfilling? Fulfilling, but not enough to sustain for another hundred years?

And I think the only place to go from there is one of two directions: escape or revolt.

Revolt would be a story that comes with the revelation that this is not a system which was built for the women, it was a system built for The Male, which is true, but it's not any great revelation for the reader, and I think would be a suitable ending only if we're leaning into a feminist allegory.

Escape is more interesting, less about the society and more about the self. If the story is an allegory, what's the meaning of going beyond the walls? What is behind the walls? This then becomes a whole different story, one that's been unrooted, and I think there's a version where we don't even dwell on the time within the paradise prison, the breakout happens in chapter 1.

If the story is structured so that's not the ending, then you'd want to tie in more Lessons on Purpose. Here are some sketches:

Our protagonist finds herself a New Purpose, but still one where she's subordinate to someone else. She's got more to do, but it's still incomplete, and eventually doesn't suit her because it doesn't come from within.

Our protagonist finds a New Purpose that's not subordinate, but which was placed in front of her by someone manipulating and leading her for some reason. She finds this unfulfilling.

Our protagonist finds a New Purpose that places someone below her, in the style of cycle of abuse, but once she realizes she's done a role reversal, has a revelation that this is not what she wants, even if she was personally happy.

I don't think I would do all of these, but this is how I like to structure a story, with variations on the thematic core. Eventually we can give our protagonist a happy ending, some kind of peace, but I'm not sure that I've solved the problems of listlessness and lack of purpose for myself. (Which is obviously what I find enticing about the idea in the first place, I guess.)

There's some version of this story that's stripped from its original root. Is it important that it's a supposedly subservient woman in a male fantasy? I don't know. I guess not, or not entirely, though there are things that I like about that in terms of what we get from the reading. If you make it the 72nd man in a woman's paradise, or the 72nd man in a man's paradise ... no, I think there are elements of female socialization in play, an expectation that a woman will subsume herself to a man, and those are the things that give the concept some much-needed meat. I also don't think the sex stuff is particularly important, but being salacious does help to sell a story, and sex is an expression of intimacy, and intimacy is what our protagonist wants (or thinks she wants).

I think this story calls to me, but is also not the kind of thing that people would jump to read, particularly because no matter how much I roll the pitch over in my head it sounds like a wet blanket. I like wet blankets, but I'm in a minority position.

So if you do decide to write this, if there's something in what I've said here that calls to you, my only request is that you tell me about it after you have something worth sharing.

#pitchposting

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project-sekai-news · 12 hours ago

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The Pegasus - An Interview

Welcome back to PJSK News! I'm your host, Tenma Saki, and because Hoshino couldn't be here today, I have brought a special guest! Special guest, how about you introduce yourself?

Good evening, everyone! I am Tenma Tsukasa, a world star! Many of you know me by my stage name, the Pegasus!!! Saki here is actually my little sister!

Hehe, Onii-chan, no headpats on camera! Anyway.. I have all the interview questions right here! Are you ready?

More than ready! Shoot!

Okay! First question: Tumblr user @sillystringstar asked: "Dear, Pegasus, why the horse name?"

That's an easy one! My surname, Tenma, means 'pegasus!' Therefore, I thought it only fitting to use that as my stage name!

I knew that one! Hehe, then I could use that as my pen name whenever I write articles! ..On second thought, that might be a little confusing.

Let's see, the next question is.. by @ithappenedonroute66 !! "If you are a star, then are you the sun and going to explode in the far future?"

E-er, you see, I'm not that kind of star! I'm a great and talented performer kind of star! BUT! I will explode in a blaze of glory in the future! You'll see, Saki, and uh.. it-happens-route-6!

I'll be waiting! ... user @agoist asked, "Why did you make that young girl cry by yelling “Dance and Sing” at her?"

Wh-where'd you here that from?! Ahem, I mean, the problem is solved! The girl was looking for her mom, is all! With Rui's help, the girl found her mom safe and sound, so you needn't worry about anything!

We're just going to ignore the fact that I blabbed.. next question, by @crime-soncloud! "Pegasus, what are your thoughts on the work of this news network, and what do you feel should be reported on more?"

This is a brilliant news network, run by my dear sister Saki and her friends! I try my best to listen to every single one of their reports! ..Though I haven't listened to the one about Akito yet! I've been a bit busy lately...

As for what should be reported on! I believe everything Saki and her friends report on needs their full attention! That being said, I recommend other Sekai's! So far, PJSK News has only reported on evnets happening around Shibuya Sekai, so if they could branch off to other Sekai's, I think that would be very cool!

Ooh, good idea! I'll talk to Ichi about that! Uh - also, the Akito going to jail one isn't that big of an event, haha..! There's no need for you to watch it!

Oh, really? Well, whatever you say, Saki!

Hehe, great! This next one is by.. @ova-kakyoin !! "what is your favorite part of performing? other than people smiling and having fun watching of course."

Hmm.. I'd say getting to know my fellow actors better! You mustn't only care for your audience! The wellbeing of the people you're performing with is also very important!

Well said! Okay.. user @sanri0add1ct asked, "dear Pegasus, why do you call your lunch a luncheon?"

Ah! 'Tis a name only fit for the glorious lunch eaten by the Pegasus!

You always put so much care into the lunches you make for yourself and me! Thank you, Onii-chan!

Anything for you, Saki! What's the next question?

Mm.. @25jpeg is wondering, "dear Pegasus what's your deal with Kamishiro?"

Ah, Rui! Hmm.. I'm not too sure what you mean by that!

Of course you know what they mean! Hm, like.. how he's always teasing you! Or.. oh! I heard from Toya that he sometimes sees the teachers chasing you two around the school~! Ooh, or maybe when you were rehearsing Ro -

Wait a minute! Where did you hear this?!

Well, I picked up the teasing one by myself, and like I said, Toya told me about how the teachers chase you two...

Ugh.. to think my wonderful fans would take our relationship like this..

Time for me to clear things up! ..Everyone, Rui is not bullying me!

...Huh..?

There! Now people won't think Rui is being mean! Rui is my great friend!

Onii-chan... hm. Don't worry everyone, he'll realize his feelings soon enough!

..My feelings..?

Anyway, next question~! @calleigator asked, "Mr. Pegasus Tenma, what are your thoughts on the ongoing apple pie thefts and what are you going to do about it?"

The apple pie thefts? Ah, I remember you and Hoshino reporting on this! I hope the thief will stop stealing apple pies and instead be a good citizen and pay for everything that they stole!

That's a lot of money to pay considering how many pies they stole...

But stealing is no good! As the Pegasus and a world star, I should be setting a good example for all the young children out there! Everyone, if you're listening, don't steal!

Aw, you're such a good influence! That's my brother for you!

Haha! You're a great sister too, Saki!

Ahem.. "Dearest Pegasus, your light shines brighter than any other. What do you plan to do about those who melt in your presence?" - asked by @monkie-see-monkie-do!

Melt in my presence..? Ah, I see, they melt because of my greatness! Well, my marvelous fan, if you melt in my presence, no need to panic! My light revives as well as melts!

Ooh, great answer! This next question is the last one, by @closegamecamo !! "Pegasus, what are your thoughts on those fake insects at stores?"

Fake insects..? Ugh, why would you ask me that.. er, I don't even remember what they look like!

That's fine! I brought one here with me just in case!

You wha - aaAAAAAAGGH!!

Haha, Onii-chan! It's just a caterpi - ahh, he fell down!

Eek! T-Tenma-senpai..? Is he okay?

Don't worry about it, Kohane! He'll be fine.. probably..

ONII-CHAN! The interview's still going!

..urk...

Ah, maybe it's a good time to stop..

Bye everyone! I hope your questions were answered by the great and glorious star, Tenma Tsukasa, the Pegasus! Let's keep this little incident between us, 'kay? Bye bye~!

..ugh.. aah, wait! Farewell, my wonderful fa - !

#i apologize for tagging anyone who didn't want to be tagged !!#project sekai news #colorful stage #pjsekai #pjsk #project sekai #proseka #prsk #saki tenma #tenma saki #tsukasa tenma #tenma tsukasa #guys i haven't read any of the wxs events please dont throw me in a hole (so tsukasa and saki are probably a little ooc ;-;;)#especially the second to last question i wrote that one at 1 am because i couldn't think of a good answer for it ;-;;#also i searched up different tsukasa scenes on youtube to get a better sense of his character and i found one of him screaming and crying #i have no clue if he was acting or not but GOD WAS I SHOOKEDTH #like. SDKFJDKS ??? HIS SCREAMING WAS KIND OF FUNNY BUT I WAS SO SURPRISED I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT #https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LoPlqdPR_U #that's the video if anyone's interested #ok i'll stop yapping in the tags. i hope you enjoyed

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judgeanon · 2 days ago

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So How About That Batgirl #3

I didn't transplant my review of #2 here because there wasn't that much more to say, especially in regards to Lady Shiva (which is always the most important part of any comic with her in it for me) but #3, hooo boy, there's a lot to talk about for this one.

It introduces, or maybe just expands, a concept that kinda had me feeling a bit nervous but eventually won me over, and still has room for some fun narrative trickery. So I'm gonna go ahead and post my full review of the issue down here:

Picking off where #2 left off, #3 starts with Shiva and Cass on a train heading out of Gotham to meet some allies in their fight against the unburied. And Cass is noooot happy about it.

These opening pages follow the same character dynamic we've seen so far, with Cass openly rejecting her mother's remarks while inwardly rejecting her mother in general -- her inner monologue constantly reassuring herself that Shiva is a lonely manipulative monster while Cass is a good person, clearly to try to chase away the guilt of leaving everyone behind. The desperation in Cass' inner voice to paint Shiva as an unredeemable monster is very palpable and very good in the face of everything that's happened so far.

But the next pages made me a little concerned, with Shiva berating Cass while goading her about her relation with the batfamily. And while we've seen Shiva take jabs at that before, notably in Hill's Outsiders, back then it felt more pointed (and a little meta, what with the whole "He won't even let you be Batgirl" thing), while here Shiva's comments on languages, while true in a way, felt more openly cruel. Bordering on villainous.

Had the issue stayed this way, I would've been very worried about this whole arc turning into yet another milquetoast "Evil bio mom, good found family" yarn. But then the track switches.

The lion's share of the issue is dedicated to introducing the survivors of the Order of Shiva, who have dedicated thier lives not to just worship the deadliest hands on Earth, but to study, learn & better themselves through her example. Which is an idea that could've gone very wrong. Personally? I think this is kinnnnnda neat. Mostly.

The thing is, I've never been a fan of Shiva having any kind of cult or organization built around her. I think it's the kind of stuff that can weigh her down and, at worst, just be used to make her more of a pure villain, like in Dixon's RICHAR DRAGON run. But in this issue, the idea slowly won me over with how Brombal uses it to explore two overlooked aspects of Shiva:

The first is that Shiva, at her best, tends to inspire others. Just by entering a person's life, Shiva, tends to change their perceptions of reality, of what's possible. When Shiva entered Vic's life, she indirectly got him to question a lot of things about how he viewed reality. Same with Dinah and, yes, Cass herself. And this order seems to be entirely built on that idea of Shiva as someone who makes people rethink everything (albeit with way more altruism than Shiva herself).

The other thing this whole scene explores is Shiva's dualities and seeming contradictions, her nature as both destroyer and restorer. Which is something I'm always happy to see, especially nowadays. But this is also where my one big problem with this issue lies: it pays a lot of lip service to Shiva as a healer without actually showing it.

A mention is made of Cass rejecting Shiva's help, but an actual moment of Shiva using her healing skills, to me, would've really helped support High Priest's Jayesh gushing praise of that dual nature.

Just a couple of panels of her doing some funky pressure point head massage, it's all I'm asking.

Beyond that, I do have one nitpick that's just about the one thing that keeps me from fully embracing this idea, and that's Shiva's level of involvement with the order. Jayesh drops a hint of how he met Shiva, and she seems to care at least a little for him and for the Order, but there's not a lot said about how much she helped them build and maintain it.

If they're all people who ran into her, had their minds opened and built an order around their idea of her, that's one thing. If she helped them build it then that's another. Her small moments of caring do seem to indicate she's also warmed up to them, which would suggest some relatively high involvement, which I don't really like. I'd much prefer the order being something that Shiva is aware of but keeps at arm's length, a bunch of well-intentioned groupies that, like the issue says, follow her example rather than her orders. The bottom line is that I don't like anything that Shiva seems to be too attached to, but even if she was, I'm still mostly OK with this idea.

Anyway, the final leg of the issue is dedicated to a very entertaining chase and fight across the rest of the train that's a delight to see. And while my copy's all digital, I imagine it's way better in paper. Miyazawa and Spicer clearly have a lot of fun with these pages and it continues the run's interesting dynamic of Cass and Shiva never being fully in sync during a fight, always fighting each other as much as whoever's all around them.

But apart from the action, the thing that rang a lot of bells for me was Cass' narration as it insists again that Shiva is nothing but a monster and that Cass is nothing like her, eventually flowing towards a very heroic list of all her family members and their core traits that's very nice and heartwarming... and desperate.

Because the narration in this scene all reads to me like Cass arguing with herself. It reads desperately like her trying to chase away the dual thoughts that her mother may not be a complete monster AND that she herself, Cass, really is a lot like her mother.

Hell, the scene is literally Cass running away from Shiva, punching through what she sees as undisputable proof of her mother's lies while checklisting the family she does want and love, physically and mentally fighting against even the possibility of Shiva being worthy of more than her disgust. It's not Cass rejecting Shiva for being evil, it's her trying to reject the evidence that she may have something resembling good in her.

So the whole thing takes a very heroic cliche, Cass naming all these loved one to give her strength, and turns into a flailing flurry of mental gymnastics from Cass to allow herself to keep rejecting Shiva, to maintain this inner image of her as a monster while refusing any connection with her. And it's all pretty compelling stuff.

The issue then ends with one final surprise as Cass runs into the rest of Shiva's allies: a resurrected Nyssa Al-Ghul, Angel Breaker and a brand new character we'll apparently learn more about next month. So yeah, this was an interesting issue. The pacing of the arc is still a bit slow, but with all the players (hopefully) at the table and three issues to go, I hope the rest of the arc will pick up steam and keep chugging along smoothly.

I wasn't expecting the Order of Shiva to get much more play after #1. I certainly wasn't expecting them to get expanded like this. And I definitely didn't expect it to win me over this much. Minor quibbles aside, I gotta give props to Brombal for the obvious thought he's put when laying down these tracks for Shiva, and I'm definitely in for the rest of the ride.

(then again, maybe I'm just being blinded by the intense relatability of my man Jayesh over here. I feel you, brother. Hope you survive this arc)

#Lady Shiva #Batgirl #DC #Comics #Cassandra Cain #Tate Brombal #Tak Miyazawa #Mike Spicer #Train puns

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power-handmaiden · 2 hours ago

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Chuck Tingle interview

OK, here is the FINAL 2024 Tingles My Butt post, which I've been pretty hyped for. I still kind of can't believe this. While I was figuring out how I'd move on from 2024, @drchucktingle generously offered to answer some questions of mine to commemorate the end of my tingler project! Here they are!

-Considering that your process for tinglers is just to write it out and not stress about proofreading and editing, was it weird for you to see someone decide to go back, examine, and contemplate every single tingler published in the past decade?

the whole dang project was really wonderful for me, for exactly the reason you have just said. tinglers are very STREAM OF CONSCIOUS and only edited with one quick pass so while i think this adds to their honesty and rawness it also means that my time with them is limited. really watching someone go back through them at this depth was like reading a diary that i have not opened for many years, and it jumps around through time in a very beautiful way. it was very moving

-I love tingler character names. I personally admire how many great ones you come up with. (I never know what to name my ttrpg characters.) You just come up with all these great names that seemingly spring from nowhere, how do you do it?

DANG great question cant believe i have not been asked this before but yes there is a type of name that shows up in the tingleverse that is unusual and has a certain feeling and cadence that is very specific. if i am trotting along with sweet barbara and there is a name of a product or a place or something that has this tone we will say ‘oh thats a tingleverse name.’ the reason i wanted to do this in the books was as a very subtle way of saying these stories exist on a timeline that is RIGHT next to ours, so in some ways it is exactly the same as our world but there are these little cultural differences with things like chocolate milk and spaghetti and then with the names. you will have buckaroos like justin and sarah trotting along next to buckaroos named corb torbins-quill or borto lart.

-So, as a reader, reading from 2014 to now, old tinglers and new tinglers feel different to me. I believe you when you say tinglers have always been sincere, but they feel MORE sincere than they used to be. Like, I feel like there was some self-consciousness and irony in some of the early tinglers that you've since let go of and embraced the Chuck Tingle voice more. I don't know, am I imagining this, or does this square with your tingler writing journey? If it does, what has that process been like for you?

i think you are absolutely correct. the intention with tinglers was always to be a place for me to express myself with complete sincerity, but the practical way of HOW to trot like this took a bit of an evolution to arrive at. in other words i knew the basics, but actually refining the best way to express yourself and perform your art takes time. maybe in the same way goin back and watching season one of a tv show can feel very different from season three, even though they are part of the same expression.

similar thing happened with in my chuck PRESENTATION as well, where my main focus was to stay anonymous so the metaphors i used to talk about my life were still true but laid on much thicker. even my attire was a large gi so that you would not even be able to see my shape, which has obviously changed now because i wear suits these days. all of this was a process of starting in a place i knew was important to me and then peeling off the parts that were not helping the message or expression over time

-Is there anything you could tell us about the significance of Borson Reems? I feel like he's more than just another Buck Trungle/Chuck Tangle/etc but I'm not sure what exactly...

yes borson reems is god. not that i believe in GOD in the way that most buckaroos talk about god (i am agnostic) but within the tingleverse, borson reems is an avatar for the creator of that world. technically i am borson reems, because i am writing the books. the question is: are we all the gods of our own little worlds that we create? i do not know, but when i look around at my buds and the joy and love they bring to various timelines they sure seem like gods to me

-A lot of no-sex tinglers (especially ones that aren't romance-focused) vary in terms of plot and structure a lot more than erotic tinglers. Is your writing process for these stories any different?

same process actually, but the sex scenes in tinglers are about 1500 to 2000 words long, and total tingler length is 4000 words which means if you are not including that portion you are going to have to come up with some creative way to fill that space in the story and a new axis for story to turn on. so the variety comes from me getting creative and trying out different axis points

-In "Not Pounded By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Non-Fungible Tingler That Is Literally This NFT" Because Of The Current Catastrophic Environmental And Ethical Impact" there are references to an earlier draft of the story that was never released because you ended up disagreeing with the message. Are there any other tinglers that never got finished and/or published, if you'd be willing to talk about any of them?

oh this is a VERY good question. the story of the NFT tingler is that when buckaroos were first talkin on nfts online and nobody really knew what they were, my first thoughts were just ‘oh this is interesting what the heck is this?’ this is my way with most CURRENT EVENTS. and i thought ‘this would be an interesting tingler, i suppose maybe i should make the tingler an ACTUAL nft’. this was in VERY early days so i did not really even understand what an nft was (neither did 99 percent of buckaroos yet honestly). so i looked into it just enough to actually MAKE a nft tingler that was a real nft and put it out. lasted for about thirty seconds before buckaroos were messaging saying ‘oh this is bad chuck you should look into what this is’ and i DID look into it and thought’ oh yeah this is terrible nevermind’. i took down the original and thought ‘well THIS is what art is all about. this is where i thrive in a world of moving living art that is in communication with itself’. so i dove into the research and actually started to understand NFTS and then i repurposed the story into a strongly anti-nft tingler and put that on out instead.

as far as OTHER tinglers that kind of move and breathe and live like this, in communication with the audience, GAY T-REX LAW FIRM is another very good example. that one i wrote early on and i think it was kind of in the model of something like fifty shade of grey, where issues of kink and consent and communication are not really handled well. i think at the time it came out the story was okay, but as time went on it always kind of bothered me and finally i thought ‘i love art that exists in the REAL WORLD and changes and evolves, so lets rewrite that story and fix some of these mistakes.’ honestly it is something i wish more artists would be open to. its okay to let something hold strong against a changing timeline, but it is also okay to explore what its like to take the notes that time gives us

-This one is about Chuck Tingle that exists in deeper layers of the Tingleverse that operate on tingler logic: what does the location inside his/your butt look like?

probably a nice mid-century modern home up in laurel canyon neighborhood of los angeles. kind of quiet and small like a cabin but also very cozy, like the kind of place where you would put on a crosby stills nash and young record on vinyl and gaze out into the woods for a while then walk down the hill for dinner at a little cafe where you spot some actor from a 60s tv show also having dinner in the corner booth. this basically sounds like the start of a tingler and in that tingler i will say the actor would be a bigfoot.

-OK this one is very self-indulgent but if you could help settle this frequent point of discussion I have with my wife- where do the following fit in the Tingleverse bigfoot/dinosaur/unicorn/living object(/human/does not apply?) taxonomy?

-a ghost of a regular human

-a regular human vampire

-a human/fish mermaid

-a sentient winged horse

-a sentient centipede large enough to wrap around a mountain several times (she is handsome)

alright lets trot through these. a GHOST is not one of the four tingle types so you can have a ghost racecar or a ghost unicorn or a ghost bigfoot. ghosts are outside of the four types and do not have a classification

a VAMPIRE is also outside of the four types. so you can have a vampire bigfoot or, of course, a vampire night bus. does not strictly fall into any of the four main categories

MERMAIDS are technically a long lost species of unicorn I DONT MAKE THE RULES I JUST EXPLAIN THEM. this makes the MERMOPED tingler a little confusing but i had to pick a category and that one went into living object. now that i mention it possibly the only tingler that is technically a double category of unicorn/living object.

WINGED HORSE is easy, thats a pegasus which is a species of unicorn just like a mermaid

a SENTIENT CENTIPEDE LARGE ENOUGH TO WRAP AROUND A MOUNTAIN is an ancient creature, therefore dinosaur tingler

-My other self-indulgent question: do you have a favorite bug? (Or second-favorite if you count Mothman as a bug)

i love finding spiders in the house and giving them a pet because they are doing a good job livin their lives doin their thing. close second would be a pretty ladybug

-Any thoughts on what tinglers will be like in 2025? Do you expect to be writing a lot of political tinglers again, like post-2016?

honestly i really do not like writing specifically political tinglers anymore, and the amount that i write has gradually dropped over time (i think ALL tinglers are political but in a different way). so honestly i think i will write a few political tinglers but not many. my hypothesis on this is that my HORROR NOVELS are very very political and so maybe i get a lot of these ideas out of my system that way now. when it comes to tinglers i just wanna explore my OWN mind and heart and butt more

THANK YOU for these wonderful questions and thank you for your tingler-a-day project it was so moving and powerful. what a treat it was an honor to be a part of something so beautiful. THIS PROVES LOVE IS REAL

#chuck tingle #2024 tingles my butt

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wardingshout · 24 hours ago

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Since I didn't draw anything for like half of 2024 I did an updated colour wheel instead! featuring only the newest of stuff I could find that fit.

I have also compiled a dump of many thoughts I want out of my head, like a little text post dump I guess. the tldr I guess I will just make "thank you".

Putting the most important thing first here which is. Every single time I catch myself thinking "no I need to draw smth other than alttp" a couple of very specific tags and messages pop into my head and I get so fired up to draw more alttp !!! the power I feel from that!!!!!

IIIIII feel like there used to be a way to do linebreaks but I can't remember how so my new text bit divider is random crap I can find lying around in my files

Ok here goes me being dramatic about something that only matters to me but feels so very important to get out for the sake of others too. I guess the gist of it is that tumblr is a rly important place to me and I'm so endlessly grateful for people always being so nice. at the end of the day I don't think I really care about much else in life than drawing and getting to share it with others makes it a much less lonely experience for me. I mostly just for myself, but I'm so grateful for the extra joy associated with posting it online too.

I feel a bit bad I can never seem to give back the kind of nice energy you guys give me. despite how much joy this place brings me, I'm just a naturally anxious person and I often chicken out of doing things myself. I'm so endlessly happy that people still bear with me or at least stick around to look at my art.

thanks to people's kindness I often find myself breaking out of the anxiety and getting a lot closer to initiating stuff myself, but I always get run over by some kind of irl issue instead, usually mental, but recently also physical health. I had so much fun on here this summer especially and I was so certain that this was the time I would make it last only for irl stuff to yet again show up and knock me out completely. every time that happens I feel like I have to rebuild whatever social bravery I had aquired from the beginning again and at this rate I won't ever get anywhere.

after weeks of very few work days, I feel like I'm finally rebuilding the courage to post and the concentration to manage drawing at all. it's not a lot of progress but I can feel it growing. from tomorrow it's back to full time work with no other breaks in sight and I'm scared my groove will be cut short already... I like my job but I've acknowledged I just can't thrive with full time work. I can bear it fine though, but it doesn't leave energy for much else in life.

I think the point here is. I know it's just social media but I've had so many good experiences on here and they're really precious to me. I hope one day I can be well enough to be that kind of influence for others too. my activity with art and presence online has become surprisingly reflective of how well or bad I'm doing irl, so I never I never want to give up on become a more present person.

the most important thing is art though, so finding the courage to get back to posting even if it's all I do, makes me happy too. thank you so much to everyone else who posts are too. I'm endlessly excited about all the cool things I get to experience and see online, thank you!

it is absolutely absurd how many drafts I have of just very frustrated moments where literally all I type is "if I have to be sick one more time I will lose my absolute mind holy shit" and having just been sick again? really feeling that !!!! it's also like. frustrating to feel you're making progress mentally and then you constantly get knocked into bed by phsyical health instead like come on I'm finally learning how to get Out of that place... and then every time you get sick, routunes have to be rebuild all over after, it suuuuucks....

I finally got a PC which has been absolutely life saving, However. I am still drawing on tegaki only... I'm so excited I can get back to bigger works on csp but I've gotten so used to seeing only my tegaki stuff, I'm scared of how much I'll suddenly hate my art when I see it differently again... hating your own art is probably a feeling that will never disappear but even so. I think I'm at a pretty content place right now and I'm worried about shaking it up. I can't let something like that knock me down when I'm only finally getting back to drawing regularly again... I already copied over the palette for some comfort so hopefully I can find a brush that feels similar too! at least I'm super excited about getting to pick some more colours !

and a very belated tag game thing !! I completely lost the original post by now but it was from @lele5429 and I've had it in my drafts this whole time, so better late than never to fill it out!

Last song: Alt Hvad Jeg Vil by Von Quar

Fav colours: warm yellows or light oranges!

Last book: switching between Assassin's Quest and Our Wives Under The Sea!

Last movie: The Princess Bride I think?? it was long ago so I feel like I'm forgetting something else though...

Last tv show: my roomie and I binged Twin Peaks season 3 as well as most of True Detective over christmas break we went Ham

Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet !!

Relationship status: not interested

Last thing I googled: "nosferatu rats"... I see.....

Current obsession: alttp auish shenanigans... this one has not changed since I first drafted my response to this... on one hand I feel like I'm just filling out the gaps between games, but on the other it's getting very close to full au stuff... I always wanted to draw comics but had no ideas and for the first time in my life I'm drowning in ideas and fully held back by fear and skills haha

Looking forward to: actually surprisingly nothing at all? I'm looking forward to whatever good times I can create for myself I guess. the last few things I was looking forward to didn't go so well, so maybe it's nice to have nothing but the most normal and boring daily life ahead haha

#text #THAT'S A LOT OF TEXT there's honestly no reason to bother with all my yapping but I feel happy I could finally put some stuff into words #and hide it among other things too haha #might also. dump some art to hide this instantly after posting.......

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wombywoo · 1 day ago

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i know you have probably been asked this so many times — but what brushes do you typically use? any helpful videos i can reference to get portraits and overall realism sketching down, maybe ones that you used starting out? or just.. tips overall?

artists like you and m0cktails really inspire me to try and pursue a different route with my art, one that was totally unexpected but pleasantly rewarding when i tried it out!!! you have a great eye for features and overall composition of a piece, i started being a fan due to your ghostsoap art but i honestly think ive started to like seeing your OCs too haha

please don’t feel pressured to answer i know i kind of asked a lot!!

Hey there! I've briefly reviewed some of the brushes I use in some posts here and here! For the most part, I stick to one standard brush, as well as the airbrush and some other 'effect' brushes as I need them. I'm a photoshop devotee, unfortunately 😔, so a lot of my process is futzing around with their admittedly stellar editing tools

Truthfully, I don't have any concrete tips or videos for this sort of thing. I started out as a pencil artist, doing more and more realistic portraits the better I got, and then eventually turned to digital art (a bit reluctantly) So a lot of that was just self-taught; finding my own way how to implement certain techniques, and amassing a foundation that would allow me to draw all the stuff in my brain, lol

As for advice--I'd say to learn how to evolve out of your comfort zone. It's good to know what type of style or subject matter you feel you're best at--this is a natural inclination most artists have, and it informs the pieces your mind wants to create. But try pushing the limits of what you think might be 'too tedious' or 'too advanced'. More often than not, the thing holding your art back is that gut instinct of 'I can't do this, so why bother trying'. I used to feel this way about hands (enemy of the state, confirmed) And yeah, the easy cop-out is to just shove them all in pockets or behind backs etc. But in learning how to overcome that obvious challenge, I grew to really appreciate the way a hand can shape a composition. In fact, I have to hand it to--💥 ✋

Anyway! My next bit of 'advice' would be to go absolutely bonkers nuts with references. Don't listen to any fraud or fool who says using references is cheating !!!!! They lie!!!!! I swear, my art only looks the way it does because I am a reference hound who spends hours and hours on google/pinterest/stock sites for the perfect angle of the perfect pose, just so I can relate it to the image I have in my head.

For realism--look at real stuff! This sounds dumb, but it helps. Start paying closer attention to people around you; their faces, the way the light accents certain things, unique features, etc. I'd suggest figure studies if that's something you're into (I don't do studies, personally, because I just jump into massive pieces and can't do anything simple 😅 welp) but it does help immensely to study humans in real life and try to translate that onto the page

So yeah. Tbh, the best method for improving art is to simply DO IT. And the fact that you're seeking out further advice and tips means that you have some motivation--so use it! Hope this helps <3

#asks

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manias-wordcount · 2 days ago

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Hi! I really love your writing style, and I was wondering if by any chance you are still doing oneshots related to Cowboy Bebop. I've been searching for days for one where Spike takes care of a sick reader, filled with fluffy and maybe with a little of Angst. Could you possibly make one? I love that kind of oneshots 😭

Sick Talk Hick-Hop (Spike Spiegel x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗺! 𝗶 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗿. 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆'𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗵

𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @dogsandrocketsocks @pittbull-enthusiast @asuperconfusedgirl @rendartgrimson @abellaheart-blog @skylardarling @sachimz @roronoaism @itzmymelody

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

There are very few times where he can use the word “hate” to refer to something about you. But those times exist.

For example, he hates seeing you with other men. To him, Jet’s the only exception to this rule. But let it be some other many chatting you up, Spike can’t help but be jealous. He can’t help but see red, even when you are trying to politely turn the guy down. He knows he can be a bit irrational about it. You’ve always been a pretty little thing. All sweet and all soft. It’s only given that others would fall for your charms- just the same way he had all that time ago. But he’s not going to hand you over to just any sleezebag. In fact, he’s not going to hand you over at all if he can help it. Not if he can help it.

But he also hates sending you off to do errands for the ship on your own. He knows you’re more than capable. You were living by yourself before you had joined the Bebop’s crew. But the areas that you used to live in were safer. While the places that the Bebop crew used to frequent were not. And he learned that the hard way when you came home in tears one day, covered in scratches and bruises after getting mugged on your way to the store. After that, Spike realized that as much as he enjoyed not having to run around and do Jet’s bidding, he liked to ensure that you’re coming home to him safe and sound and without even a single hair on your even being displaced even more.

But one thing he didn’t realize he had to add to that list of things he hated, was seeing you sick.

Especially like this.

“How you feeling, sweetheart?” Spike found himself uttering quietly after noticing you had just stirred from the latest little nap you had taken. You had made a soft noise in the back of your throat- something near silent and sweet- as you stretched your legs between his and cuddled up a little closer to him. It’s a sight he would have usually fawned over. A sight he would have been dreaming about for weeks and weeks. A sight that would have driven him crazy with just how adorable you’re being right now. But of course, he knows the full story. He knows what’s happening here.

He knows about the extent of your sickness and it’s not pretty.

It was him who had found you in a corner of your room a couple of hours prior, in distress as you tried to blink back the tears and hide what was going on from him. You had just finished emptying the contents of your stomach into a trash can that you were too weak to even crawl away from. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but there was no chance in hell was leaving you there to fend for yourself. So it was him that got you out of there. It was him who did all the running around for all the medicine and food and drinks that you would need while Faye was helping you get cleaned up and into something more comfortable. And it was him who made sure once you were done in the bathroom, you had a safe place to recover. Full of all the blankets and snacks and love and care that you would need.

His room, of course.

It was there that he could make sure that you had access to a mostly clean place. According to Jet, the sheets on your bed would need to be replaced and the surfaces in your room would need to be wiped down. And according to Faye, you probably wouldn’t want to be alone right now. But that was all the two of them had said before Jet had disappeared into the kitchen to fix you up something and Faye disappeared to… wherever the hell she decided to go. And that was the extent of what he knew about how to care for sick people.

His method throughout life was always to brute force things. He rarely got sick or hurt. And when he did, he was always able to sleep or walk or drink it off. And when things got really bad, he somehow always had someone there to take care of him and to patch him up. The nurses at the syndicate. Jet. And you. Especially you.

But he couldn’t imagine you brute forcing your way through anything. You’re soft and sweet and drowning in the fabric of one of his t-shirts that Faye had dressed you in. You take medicine and you drink soup and you cry when someone finds you sick and struggling in your room because you wanted to keep things a secret so you wouldn’t be a burden. He couldn’t imagine you brute forcing your way through anything. Through this, even. And he hates the fact that before he found you, you clearly were going to try to.

But despite knowing very little about how to care for sick people, he knew this much. You needed to be comfortable. You needed to be safe. And you needed to be someplace clean. So he kept you in his room, where he could keep a pile full of medicine and water bottles and all the snacks that would be good for you right now just right by his bed. It allowed him to monitor you better- to know whenever your cold chills switched over to a randomly spiking fever and to know whenever you need something. It also allowed him and you to take advantage of the fact that between the two of you, he had the much bigger bed.

And that meant space to lay down in. More space for the two of you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” He remembered saying to you when he first carried you from the bathroom to lay you down on his bed. He doesn’t know what he was apologizing for right then. Maybe it was because he didn’t get to you sooner. Maybe because he couldn’t offer you the same plush and soft comfort of your sweetly decorated room. Maybe it’s because you’re sick and he wants to take that away from you as soon as possible. He wants to make things easier for you. He wants you to recover as fast as he can. And he wants to take care of you. Just like how you take care of him. Just like how your very presence- your very existence- breathes life into him. But he’s a lousy nurse. And he doesn’t have the same caring touch that you do. “Can I get you anything? Water? More food?”

But he can be here for you. And maybe…just maybe that can be enough.

At his questions, you shake your head at him pitifully, eyes hazy, and gaze far away as you look in his direction sleepily. But you didn’t say anything. In fact, you hadn’t spoken much with him or Faye since he had found you a couple of hours earlier. And what little you were able to say always came out slow and heavy, like something was weighing down on both your tongue and brain at the same time- preventing you from thinking or speaking much. So instead, you just let out a pitiful whine as you reached for him again, not ready to apart just yet. And because your very existence has him whipped and ready to do just about anything for you, he found himself climbing into bed right next to you and pulling you into his arms as you pushed yourself right up next to him.

And there you both lay. There you both lay for hours. Legs tangle between each other. Your head on his chest. His hand combed through your hair. Your fingers gripping his shirt. And his eyes watching you carefully, looking for any signs of distress. The silence was broken only by an occasional question from him and a soft response from you. Sometimes he would hear you sniffle. Sometimes he would have to pass you a few tissues. And sometimes, you would rest your whole body weight on him as your eyes fluttered shut and you napped sporadically. Whenever you could get enough peace.

And in those moments you were asleep, you would cling to him. Even tighter than before. You would whine if he moved his arm from around your waist. You would push yourself impossibly closer to him. You would mumble a little something here and there. And your face would relax. You would be still. You would breathe softly and consistently. You would be at peace.

And for a moment, Spike would be able to forget that you’re here because you’re sick. For a moment, he would be able to forget how he found you. For a moment, he would forget that there was ever a time that he could use the word “hate” and be referring to something about you. Things would be okay. Things would be perfect. For as long as you were asleep. For as long as you were in his arms. For as long as you were in peace.

And while he might be a lousy nurse, he knows he’s a good fighter. He knows he is. He knows it. So while he can’t offer much to make your recovery go faster, he can protect these little moments of respite that you have. He can protect your peace. Because he would hate to see it go. Because he would hate to see you lose this.And because he hates the thought of you existing for even a moment without. Not if he can help it.

Not if he can help it.

#spike #spike x reaader #spike spiegel #spike spiegel x reader #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop x reader #cowboy bebop fanfic #cowboy bebop fanfiction #x reader #xreader #fanfic #fanfiction

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falling-star-cygnus · 1 day ago

Text

i've been toying with this idea for a while now, but the weekly release of s3 has been giving me motivation to post more Link Click stuff!!!

so, Lu Guang's ability allows him to look into the 12 hours following the aftermath of a picture- right? sooo hypothetically, if someone knew about this ability- they could set a trap not a 'trap' trap, obviously, but like- they could hurt him with it yk? it'll make more sense in fic form

kinda hand-wavey when it comes to timeline placement, but let's just say it's before Lu gets stabbed :3

"So..."

"...yeah."

"How weird."

Three pairs of eyes stare at the little envelope left on the counter.

"Neither of you left it here? Cheng Xiaoshi?" Qiao Ling asks- rather accuses her brother, while Lu Guang reaches for the package.

"Wh-!? I was out with you all day! When would I have even- Guangguang's the one who's been here!"

The accused in question tunes out the bickering siblings to pry open the glue seal. This argument was nothing new, after all, not this lifetime and not this week. It was kind of comforting, like a white noise machine.

What was new, was this package.. that only held a single photo. And no return address, or name attached... It wasn't even a particularly remarkable photo, just- a room. An empty, rusted room.

"Don't accuse Lu Guang! He's much more responsible than you-"

"Well how else could it have gotten there!?"

The pale haired boy wracked his mind for any ounce of familiarity, but... nothing. He can't recall having ever seen this place, or any timeline where this thing was dropped off. It didn't make any sense.

"LU GUANG!" the siblings shout at him, each slamming their dominant hand onto the counter. The photo slips from his fingers as he jumps.

...maybe he tuned them out a bit too much.

Cheng Xiaoshi catches it to take a look for himself, appearing equally as puzzled.

"Sorry, Qiao Ling-ji," Lu Guang ducks his head, "I stepped out for a second to check the darkroom. I didn't see who left it."

And wasn't that disconcerting. Someone had managed to sneak in and out of the studio without ever alerting the ever vigilant time-traveler. It left a weird itch under his ribs.

Were they in danger again? So soon? They hadn't even met the twins yet... had this timeline changed too drastically to be saved?

Apparently, his discomfort showed on his face too- his spiraling sanity as red threads frayed around him- because the next thing he knew he had his roommate nudging his side and offering the photo back.

"Guangguang? We're not actually upset, you know.."

"Uh... right." he didn't think they were, but he'll take the escape. And distraction.

"Yeah! Mistakes happen," Qiao Ling chirps, reaching up to ruffle his hair, "No harm, no foul, Lu Guang. We'll check the tapes."

The time-traveler can't help the rosy blush that colors his cheeks under the siblings' onslaught of affection and attention. Affection and attention that he didn't deserve for lying to them for so long. But.. he was greedy. Greedy for their friendship and so, so terribly afraid of what he would become without it.

"Oh, so the landlady gets to touch your hair without permission but when I do it-" annnd then Cheng Xiaoshi was ruffling his hair too, saving him from his head again in a far more chaotic fashion than his sister [yet he was no less gentle], "you get all complain-y!"

"Idiot, you're still hung up on that? It was years ago-"

"Hardly!"

Qiao Ling giggles at their antics and takes her leave- presumably to go check the tapes like she said. The two watch her go from their peripherals.

And then get to work.

Lu Guang raises the photo, trying to ignore the fuzzy feeling that spreads in his chest when Cheng Xiaoshi adjusts to block him from the view of any onlookers. They didn't need words at this point.

He could feel his friend's eyes on the side of his face, as if drawn to the blue light for some inexplicable reason. It was fine, he could dissect that feeling later. Or never, preferably never.

Right now, he had to figure out why this picture appeared.

Nothing happened at first. The photo was taken of and empty room, and the man who took it sat in a chair just behind the camera. It almost seemed like a prank. One hour passed, then two, three... four.. six.. nine.

Lu Guang was prepared for his time- his limited, precious time- to be utterly wasted. For Cheng Xiaoshi to be laughing at him when he resurfaced, and for that tight ball of anxiety in his chest to loosen somewhat when-

"How long are you going to hide in the past?"

His heart drops to his stomach, the empty space it left behind squeezing like a vacuum.

"Do you truly think you can save them?"

The man stands up, still facing the same half of that empty room.

"Do you think you deserve to, Lu Guang?"

"How do you.."

In all these timelines, all these threads he ties and breaks and travels and resets, he's never- no one has ever- Whoever sent this knows about him and his powers. Knows about the timelines.

Lu Guang runs through potential names.

Qian Jin? The twins? Vein? Liu Xiao? Liu Min-

"Don't bother guessing. I doubt you'd get it, even with all the time in the world."

"...what?"

He couldn't tell if the man was responding to his thoughts or words or just- knew him and was covering each base.

"See, people like you are interesting. People who think they're above the rules are interesting.."

A pale, crooked hand runs over grimy bricks. The hour creeps past eleven.

"You were raised better than that."

Everything happens at once.

The man turns around, revealing a mirror barely a foot away. Lu Guang doesn't get a chance to make out more than burning amber eyes before the room goes up in light.

| + + + |

Cheng Xiaoshi's knuckles are white on the counter.

He doesn't want to mess up Lu Guang's focus, or accidentally hurt him by pulling him prematurely out of the photo but.. he looked so scared.

It wasn't an emotion he was used to- or liked- seeing on his friend at all. If Lu Guang was scared, then what- the dark haired boy shook his head. If Lu Guang was scared, then... Cheng Xiaoshi would just have to be strong enough for both of them.

He could do that- he could totally do that! After everything Lu Guang helped him with in the past, Cheng Xiaoshi would offer his own hand tenfold.

"How do you..." his friend muttered, voice weak and fragile and quiet.

"Guangguang?"

As far as he's known, Lu Guang had never talked when inside a photo before. After and before, sure, but... never during. He itched to reach out, to brush that soft white hair off his friend's suddenly clammy brow.

Lu Guang's slender fingers trembled.

"...what?"

....he shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But Lu Guang's never acted this way before! Not when he was awake. Maybe he wouldn't even notice-

No. No no no, he shouldn't risk it.

Cheng Xiaoshi would just- take him out for milk tea after this. Yeah.

A few more minutes pass, filled only by soft breaths and the tap-tap-tap-tap of Xiaoshi's finger on the counter. Lu wouldn't notice.

Would he?

No..

The photo falls from Lu Guang's hands at the same Cheng Xiaoshi lunges for him.

Barely, just barely does he manage to tuck his hand between the shelves and the soft white hair of his best friend- seconds before collision and so, so worth his undoubtedly bruised knuckles.

"Lu Guang? LU GUANG!"

The sound his friend looses is primal- hurts his chest in a way he didn't know possible- and his hands, slender and crooked in the knuckle, clutch at his face with such ferocity that his nails almost break skin. Cheng Xiaoshi guides him to the floor as gently as he can as the pale haired boy's knees give.

"It's okay," he whispers, looking around for something- anything- that could help, "It's okay.."

"I can't-" Lu Guang gasps, his chest heaving and his eyes still blue, "I can't see- I.. I can't-"

"Okay.. okay.. it's okay."

He feels like a broken record, but he doesn't know what else to say when Lu Guang is in so much obvious pain. God, could he even hear him? Who would- how-?

Cheng Xiaoshi bats his friend's hands away from his face and quickly covers his eyes for him, not wanting to add scratches to Lu's discomfort.

"Just breathe, Lu, I'm right here.. I'm right here." he says, tucking the pale haired boy against his chest until he was sure he could hear the thump of his heart, "Just focus on me, okay?"

That always seemed to calm Lu Guang down, at least.

"What did you see? Lu Guang, what did you see?"

"I don't- I don't know- there was.. there was a room.. and a man- and- and then light. He knew-"

He wish he hadn't asked. he hadn't heard Lu Guang this panicked and raw in a while. He was in pain. And Xiaoshi couldn't do anything about it.

"Okay.. it's okay," Cheng Xiaoshi digs around in his pocket, keeping his friend bracketed by his legs, "Lu Guang-"

Okay, okay, deep breaths. You can't help him if you're panicking too. Deep breaths. Don't tell you don't know what to do...

He tucks himself around his best friend, as if he could hold Lu Guang together with his body alone and rescue him from this awful, awful pain he was in. They never should've opened that envelope.

Eventually, Qiao Ling wanders back in, and she looks far more troubled than when she left. To be fair, so do her boys.

From there, it's a blur.

Lu Guang gets checked into a hospital, the sibling's lie to the police, Xiaoshi gets grilled by his sister on why they had to lie to the police, and everything spirals out of control.

Or, at least- that's what it feels like.

"Cheng Xiaoshi," Qiao Ling speaks up, from where the two are hovering anxiously outside of Lu's room. And wow, does this feel achingly familiar.. in a way he can't quite put his finger on..

She's biting on her thumbnail.

"The person who left that envelope on the counter... "

Cheng Xiaoshi looks at her, fist clenching in his pocket in preperation to swing at whoever dared-

"It looked like Lu Guang."

"...what?"

#this started out canon compliant and then took a hard swerve left #don't let me write fanfic at three AM #link click #sgdlr #yingdu chapter #yingdu arc #qiao ling #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #shiguang #lu guang x cheng xiaoshi #cheng xiaoshi x lu guang #found family #link click fanfic #the ramblings of a fallen star

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